This morning I look at the credenza in my living room and see three shelves worth of photos of folks I love. Captures in frames of moments in our lives and reminders that each of us are connected. I also see one frame sitting empty, a testament to a moment in time lost. It was intended to be a picture of a friend and I together to celebrate a visit while working on #thetackybrownhouse. It just never happened despite weeks of being together…for we were waiting for us to be “good enough” to snap the shot…..you know the drill…hair, makeup, etc.
Do you put off doing things in your life until it’s “just right”? I know I’m a task driven girl. Worse, I tend to be a closet perfectionist, all or nothing kind of girl where my own choices for me are made. One personal ethic learned early on was the work matters first and more, then if it makes sense, doesn’t cost too much, and it is morally and legally right, it’s okay to have a quick moment of playtime or fun. Somehow I got that lesson entirely too well, and since there rarely if ever seems to be an end to the work of life, well, all work and little to no play makes Sweetie very tired and less joyful.
If your choices aren’t working for you, change them is one of my mantras. Choosing to stop more often, play more often, celebrate more often is my focus this year. Small things consistently done create change…and this season I want to change the thinking that I need to wait until x,y,or z happens before I take time to celebrate the joy of living. That may define as more messy pictures of friends gathered, more inviting people over just because, or more letting go of folks who simply are takers, not interested in true friendship or relationship.
I think it’s time for me to affirm that daily life “good enough” include:
- wearing the clothes I love not just for appointments, but at home when I want, too
- scheduling that quiet time in the morning to sit down for coffee as I do at the hotels as I travel
- making more play dates with the women and friends in my life just because
- starting a gathering of women both in town and online to connect more consistently
- not waiting to engage the moment until…..for too often THIS moment is the only one we can guarantee
- letting go of things/people/concepts that are majoring in the minors
- risking the ridiculous to try out, learn and do more new things that may be fun
You see I’m a very silly sometimes, I love to cheer others on, to encourage us all to try new things, to affirm that it’s important to follow your heart, to applaud when risks are taken to grow…but when this ole girl begins something new..well, I assure you the Cruella de Ville task master of my mind takes over, and Cruella is harsh with me! How silly to allow such harshness into my mind, for it is not where my heart lives…and so like any other non fitting part of my life, that voice is being replaced. Smart girls do! It’s all a process, but the continuing steps of change are action!
Michael Hyatt in a teaching video, Best Year Ever, shares that if a work day is scheduled to cover more than 6 hours, he’s being ambitious on what can actually be done and still have time to do the other things in his life that are important. Boy is this true. Personally, as a wife, mom, stepmom, entrepreneur business owner of THREE different businesses my days are often 18 hours. A naturally high energy one, well, let’s just say I am not the kind of girl who stops at 6 hrs of work in the past. The last two years I intentionally went from 100 hour work weeks to 60 to 20-35.(and by the way, my income went UP in doing so, that was the shocking part) Whew. It took step downs to even get to to a place I could figure out HOW to do that. A friend said “hire more help” and she was RIGHT, but have you ever been in that place where you convinced yourself you had to clean the house to hire someone to CLEAN the house? That would be me in an overwhelming number of things at once! The childhood ethics came to play again….so one thing at a time I’ve unfurled the areas I should no longer be doing and let go of others and this season for the first time in the history of me…I’ve actually taken off two weeks for Christmas and let me assure you “it’s good enough!”
This week I’ve been thinking on what things/people/experiences do I want more of in my life. It’s quite the question….and I believe that though I’ll often have to fight perfectionism to try…the gift I am giving me this season is permission to let the situations be “good enough” to go….and more often celebrate the joy of living in the moment.